intentional relationships

As I was making all of my final preparations for my trip tonight, visiting with family, packing, teaching my mom to Skype, etc., I started thinking about all of the wonderful, beautiful, and inspiring people in my life and how I so often fail to acknowledge those people and their influence.  Thanks to my personality, I often tend to learn about life through observation of others, and while I can be a social person, I usually am more reserved.  I often feel like I say or do the wrong things in most situations, so I have become more likely to learn through passive observation as opposed to conversation and interaction with others.  The downside to this is that I am certain that most of the people whom I look up to and care for deeply probably do not realize just how much of an influence they have on my life.

This realization was especially important to me as I embark on this journey because, while I will be able to observe the new people I meet in Armenia and Georgia, I feel like I will gain much more insight by actually interacting with them, talking, asking questions, and generally getting to know people.  Three weeks is actually quite a short time to spend with people whom I will have just met, and I feel like stepping out of my observation bubble/comfort zone and making more of a conscious effort to get to know people will help me to have a much more relational and rewarding experience on this trip.
I hope this makes sense.

Also, before I left, I wanted to give a tiny shout-out to people I really look up to, who may or may not know it:
Mom & Dad--for your constant support and love; for more than I can ever list, and more than I will probably ever realize.
Grandma Brown--because I've realized that so much of who I am has come from you (through my dad)
Nana--because you've always seemed to look up to me, but I don't know if you realize how much I love and admire you too
Aunt Chrystal--because, even when I don't, I know that I could always come to you with anything, and you would love and support me
Kaci Lesley--because you are so transparent and real; your talks on TA retreats always stuck with me, and I'm honored to be able to follow your blog and gain more of your insights
Nick & Diana Cash--because you are such genuine and compassionate people who follow God whole-heartedly; randomly running into either of you around town never fails to make my day.  Hearing Nick on the Truth and reading Diana's blog are wonderful, inspirational additions to my life.
Caleb--because of the way you pursue your passions in life without holding back; you use the gifts God has given you so fully, each and every day.
Carmen--because she has been up north for practically this whole summer and her relationship with God is awesome and inspiring, and I'm so thankful to have such a wonderful friend, whom I met in Office Max right before freshman year in high school.  Also because you are so outgoing, and you have the most intentional, amazing relationships with everyone you meet.
Alli--because you have such a pure heart, and you tackle every day with a positive attitude and a smile on your face
Kristin H.--because you are so honest in a world where people tend to skirt around the truth
Dr. Grant & Dr. Drake--because you truly have a passion for serving others, and you are so gracious to take us on this trip and share your wisdom and insights with us.  You truly want to see us succeed and excel in everything we do.
2013 Service Scholars--because all of you have something wonderful and unique to contribute to this group! I can honestly say that, had any one of you not been able to go on this trip, I would have been truly sad.  Over the past couple of years I have come to be so thankful for this group (even though, honestly, I have struggled at times).  You never fail to be supportive, even when I am not, and I am thankful for you all.

Gosh, there are so many other people in my life who I truly love and respect.  I could dedicate an entire blog to highlighting the people who make my life worth living.  I just wanted you to know that I am so thankful for all of you, and without your support, love, and friendship, I'm sure that I would not be going on this trip right now.  Thank you to those of you who are reading this blog, even though I don't even know who all is reading it!  I am honored and thankful that you would take the time to read my rambling thoughts about this trip, and I'm thankful for your influence in my life as well.
Also, just because I didn't list you above doesn't mean that I'm not specifically thankful or thinking about your influence in my life as well.  I know that calling people out sometimes makes others feel left out, and that's not my intention.  (There are so many other people I could list, and if I know you in any way, you've already influenced me more than you know.  ADPis, RUFers, Mercerians, Blue Devils, TeenAdvisors, teachers, students, friends, acquaintances...gosh I am just feeling so thankful for people tonight!)  I promise that I am going to be much more intentional with my relationships with others this year, starting with this trip, and you will know just how much I appreciate you too!

As always, your prayers are welcomed and very, very much appreciated.  I honestly don't know how I'm not having a cow about leaving my home and family for 3 weeks--well I do!  The truth is that it's your prayers are working!  Thank you! :)

P.S. The flight to Chicago tomorrow is at 8:30 am and the flight to Warsaw is at 6:30 pm, in case you were wondering.